Almost nothing. And to prove it, dear readers, I'm giving you this delectable little tidbit. Apparently, "Britney Spears' squeeze Kevin Federline wants the highly-talented chanteuse to drop her sprog on live TV, a breathless Yahoo! reports. Britney is due to eject her bun in October, and young Kev reckons - in the wake of the couple's recent ratings flop Chaotic - that the sight of the pop sensation, legs akimbo, grunting her Hollywood rugrat into the world might prove an audience-puller.
Britney is, lamentably, not so keen - not because it's about as low as you can go in terms of self-publicity - but because she's worried about how she might look on camera."
Are you ready? All together now...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love that she actually considered it for a second before jerking on his leash and swatting his nose with a newspaper.
It gets better, though: "Britney has agreed to allow Kevin to tape the big moment with their personal video camera, and depending on the outcome and just how difficult a time she has, she says she might reconsider and allow it to air after the fact."
There's nothing like an opportunist, is there? Now that she's a skanky ho-bag, Brit's got to do something to get herself back in the papers, and there's no better way than by selling a video of herself grunting her white-trash spawn into the world. Her parents must be so freaking proud.