Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Slut Patrol Alert

Mall stories have been few and far between lately with far more important things going on in the world, but this weekend I saw something that warranted comment.

While passing by Victoria’s Secret I noticed that the display by the door was five or six mannequins clad in their very slutty underwear while slouched over with elbows on knees, chins in hands, etc. and it occurred to me: this is why I don’t shop at Victoria’s Secret. It’s my worst nightmare. Six skinny chicks wearing practically nothing, their pouts delicately creasing their milky white foreheads and perfect breasts and hips on full display to the world? Could I feel more inferior? No.

Note to Victoria’s Secret: You are a teenage boy’s wet dream, yes, but mine are the dollars you market to. Until the slut patrol goes away I will be purchasing my underwear at Bloomingdales and Gap Body.

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