Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Kelly Osbourne: Fashion Convict

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. What would your mother say? I mean aside from the F-word.

The beach is a wonderful place to go in the summertime, but most people would put on beachwear, as opposed to your Jailhouse Rock ensemble.

Aside from it being, well, ugly beyond words, it doesn't seem to fit you very well, and really that's my main concern. You're a curvy girl with hips and a chest, which means you need to stay away from anything that looks like a column. It's just not going to work on you. As we can see.

Now, the hair. I know conventional wisdom says that blondes have more fun, and they may be right. Who knows? All I know is that if you're going to go blonde, you should pay more attention to your roots because when they start to grow out, it's not good. Just take a peek in the mirror.

Okay, I'm glad we had this little talk. Say hi to your parents for me and tell Jack to stay away from any suspicious looking jello shots - they might have alcohol in them.

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